Kat Murakami

Hello Kat People,

I’m REALLY nervous about posting this because doing so would really be putting myself out there and possibly be setting myself up for huge disappointment (and maybe even some comments designed to make me feel like a loser aka “haters”), but you can’t expect anything to happen by just sitting there and not taking action. So, here goes possibly the most disappointing or thrilling moment of my life…

As mentioned in my last blog, I’ve been feeling a bit creatively blocked. Well lately, I’ve been leaning more toward music but I don’t know where to start. I have visions of myself up on stage, with my non-existent band behind me, singing and having the time of my life. The problem with that scenario is that I don’t really know anyone down here (which could have something to do with the fact that I don’t really get out) and I don’t know how to go about finding a band (or if I’m a good enough singer to find a band). I want to write music, but I don’t know how to play any instrument, I can only come up with bad lyrics.

So what it comes down to is, I’m looking for people who would be interested in being in a band with me. I’m looking for people to play the guitar, drums, bass and possibly keyboard. Ages 23-30 preferred. The music genre isn’t specific, I’m leaning toward a mix of a bunch of different things that might seem to be a little crazy, but I think it will work if people are willing to try. 

I’ve looked on the websites for finding bandmates, but I just didn’t feel right with them. They’re basically like online dating but for bands and most of the profiles weren’t active. You fill in the information for what you’re looking for, cross your fingers and hope for the best. 

If you have any suggestions on how to find bandmates, please let me know. You can message me on facebook or YouTube. I don’t have any video/recording of me singing because, as I mentioned before, I haven’t written any of my own songs and I don’t know how to play an instrument nor do I want to get flagged on YouTube for copyright infringement…

I love music and it’s always been a dream of mine to be on stage doing what I love. Now, I’m finally getting the guts up to make my dream come true and, as cliche as it might be, I feel lighter than air.

XOXO,
Kat

P.S. I’ve already got a few band name ideas, but I don’t want to share them until I’ve found the right people. :)

Hello Kat People!

This is going to be on the short-side as far as blog posts go, just so you know.

Lately I’ve been feeling like I have A LOT of creativity in my system, but I don’t know how to release it. I want to draw. I want to write a story. I want to write a song. I want to write a poem. I want to paint. I want need to do SOMETHING! I just can’t find the right inspiration to do so. I don’t know which outlet is the right one. I go to do something, but then nothing comes to me. I have the feeling, but I don’t have the vision. 

I guess, I just needed to write that down and get my frustrations out to the universe. Maybe getting it off my chest will open my creative channels, at least I hope it will…

Have any of you ever had a problem like this? Have you ever been creatively frustrated? Or am I the only one? Do you have any suggestions on how to get over this block? Let me know.

XOXO,
Kat

hitrecord:

Tiny Story REmix by Joab Nevo

Original Text by Melananie

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He asked for her hand,

but she just gave him the finger.

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Contribute your Tiny Story HERE!

Hello Kat People,

I’m going to start off this little blog post by letting you know that, yes, I am hypocritical.

I tell people over and over again to be confident and to love themselves no matter what they look like when, in reality, I don’t even feel comfortable in my own skin. I often compare myself to the models in the magazines even though I know they are photoshopped and airbrushed to look like that. I’m frequently wishing I was thinner. I do have days when I absolutely LOVE how I look, but then the next day I see my belly, or my arms, or my thighs and wonder how I ever let myself get this big.

I tell myself (and others) that I want to lose weight for health reasons, but that’s not entirely true. Don’t get me wrong, given my family history, I do have huge fears about my health but I have other fears as well. I fear that no one will want to be with someone who looks this way, I fear that people think I’m just lazy, I fear that I’ll lost my chance to be with the man of my dreams (if I haven’t lost it already) and, as a result, I fear that I’ll never really be happy, that I’ll live a pathetic, lonely life & die alone.

The downside to writing all of this makes me fear that everyone will now see how insecure & messed up I am, so no one will want to be with me for that reason either. But then I realize, if someone can’t handle this, that means they can’t love me for who I am and therefore they wouldn’t me right for me anyway.

So, after writing another very personal blog, I realize that I have found myself another form of self-therapy. Am I happy with how I look? No. Am I going to get mad at myself for eating a cookie? Definitely Not. Am I going to get mad at myself for eating an entire “King-Size” candy bar? Probably, especially since eating that much sugar would most likely make me sick. Am I confident with who I am? Not completely, but I do understand myself better and am one step closer to uncovering the “real me”. I do still want to lose weight for health reasons as well as vanity reasons. Maybe one day it will be for strictly health reasons, but for now I’m just going to take it one day at a time.

That’s all for now. TTYL.

XOXO,
Kat